The trees are haunted in Eritrea.

Where are people the meanest?

Armenia.

You always get a lot of choice in Andorra.

Which country has the worst blood circulation? Slovenia.

Hear about the dyslexic watchmaker who was ruined by the tocks market? That's nothing compared to the horologist who spent all his money on prostitutes.

You can often tell an organ thief from his accent. Especially the ones from Liverpull.

Avoid groups of sexually frustrated men in prison. They tend to be assive-agressive types. They always want gomorrah.

McDonald's has recently put blowfish on the menu, aka the Fellate-O-Fish.

Midgets make the best size-smallogists. They detect smurfquakes.

Is it true that in Saudi Arabia, a woman can be thrown in jail, just for saying hello?

Yes, they'll end up in the salaamer.

The U.S. state that employs the most illegal immigrants has a nickname, ie Call-a-foreigner.

If you're skin is pale, now is the time to go to Florida.

I don't believe that a midget is really a midget, until I see the medical shortificate.

Do our puns make you vomit? Then visit a refluxologist!

There is one TV psychologist who is a compulsive over-eater. They call him Doctor Fill My Craw.

Remember when the CEO of Microsoft freaked out on stage, like an insane monkey? Two words: The BaboonaBallmer

There are vast quantities of natural gas held in tense grip between warring Middle Eastern Cheeks. This has led to methane-ous crimes among the rival arsetalkocracies, including the recent assgassination of the Blue Angel, leader of the Qatar people -- which puts all Fartsees under a cloud of suspicion. Once the flow of blood is stenched, the factions must put this behind them and shart a new course, toot suite.

Midget keyboards?

One word: SQWERTY.

Any theory about baby behaviour must have many crawleries.

The leading cause of death among pathologists is coronerary heart attacks.

Some fundamentalist Islamic parents won't let their daughters leave the house. They keep them under Koran-teen.

Anime films are universally Japanned by critics.

Kremlins are a threat to demogwaicy

Why are midgets unable to legally sue anyone?

Because - there's a stature of limitations!

Do down and out actors end up on skit row?

NED: Hear about my friend Stan, who had his penis cut off by his wife?
ED: Really! She must have been sent to prison.
NED: No, I'm afraid she was let off.
ED: Really. Why?
NED: Because - the judge ruled there was only circumcise-Stan-genital evidence!

All political speechwriters should be sentenced to death by electoral-elocution.

After the Statue of Liberty was stolen, David Copperfield was put on trial to be judged by his peers. But he was found not guilty, as he was a con juror.

My son is getting farter and farter behind, so we're hiring a tooter. It should rectumfy the shituation, whenever the teacher decides to colon him.

Animal rights activists should be thrown in jail. They're all PETA-philes.