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Pun Gents :: Original Pun of the Day For older Puns of the Day, see the Archives. RSS feed:  (Click here for subscription instructions)3/31/2005 Why did Einstein never stop at a single beer? Because he was obsessed with re-ale-itivity! 3/30/2005 Which species of fish are the most democratic? Those who vote in eelections. 3/29/2005 Hear about the play they staged at a cemetery? It got grave reviews. 3/28/2005 How did the genie mock the overworked busboy? He said, "I'll grant you three dishes." 3/27/2005 The pair of adventurers decided against camping on top of Mt. Everest, because it was just two in tents! 3/26/2005 If all the world's bivalves became extinct, it would be a clamity. 3/25/2005 Why did the Italian dictator attack his son's babysitter and take her wallet? Because he wanted to be seen behaving mug-nanny-Mussolini! (magnanimously - needs to be read aloud) 3/24/2005 After a rash of overflowing-urinal incidents, the toilet manufacturer's stock began to plumb it. 3/23/2005 Which lizards eat bird poop? Iguanos! 3/22/2005 Those with anal fissures tend to be from Krakow. 3/21/2005 What did Fog say to Mrs. Fog? "I've mist you!" 3/20/2005 The Pun Gents don't mind if you criticize their jokes, but they won't tolerate ad homonym attacks. 3/19/2005 What's a cannibal's favourite dessert? J-lo. 3/18/2005 3/17/2005 The theatre actor with the seeing-eye dog was criticized for his led-in performance. 3/16/2005 The Simpson boy was shot to death in a Springfield tavern. All evidence pointed toward Moe, the Bart-ender. 3/15/2005 The theatre director used the solidified carbon dioxide to cathartic effect. "By the end of the performance," he predicted, "there will be no dry ice in the house!" 3/14/2005 How did the arsonist afford his plane ticket? He redeemed his frequent fire points! 3/13/2005 Hear about the new levy on pushpins? It's a tacks grab! 3/12/2005 Does a florist who goes bankrupt get a vasectomy? 3/11/2005 Why do people who have bad reactions to milk not put up with amputees? Because they are lack-toes intolerant! 3/10/2005 Why did the millionaire skip his usual joyride on his quadramaran? Because he had a strong sense of four-boating! 3/09/2005 Umpires eject anyone who gives heroin to an itchy bloodsucker - because it's flea spikes and yer out! 3/08/2005 How does arsenic justify itself in New York? "Hey - I'm not such a bad poison." 3/07/2005 Why do children love hotel rooms? Because they have a fondness for suites! 3/06/2005 Hear about them suing the hot sauce companies? They're finally going after Big Tabasco! 3/05/2005 Which character from Gilligan's Island always screamed for water? Thurston Howell. 3/04/2005 "Without ice cream," said the food critic, "Belgian desserts taste just waffle." 3/03/2005 The protestors outside the Bata factory outlet were zealously opposed to a woman's right to shoes. 3/02/2005 Why are bovines well-behaved in pottery stores? Because they are likable in a china shop! 3/01/2005 Who is Lord of the Rings? Rocky Bilboa! For more Puns of the Day, see the Archives. |
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