Pun Gents :: Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day

2008-06-04T17:58:00.000-04:00

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2008-03-16T21:59:00.000-04:00

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2008-03-16T21:29:00.000-04:00

Q: Is it true a woman in Saudi in Arabia can be sent to prison just for saying hello to a Westerner?

A: Yes - she'll end up in the salaammer.

2008-03-15T21:34:00.000-04:00

ED: I'm a straight male, yet I'm attracted to lesbians.
ED: Really.
NED: Yes, it's an interesting dyke-hot-to-me.

2008-03-14T21:38:00.000-04:00

Midget keyboards?

One word: SQWERTY.

2008-03-13T21:39:00.000-04:00

Any theory about baby behaviour must have many crawleries.

2008-03-12T21:45:00.000-04:00

The leading cause of death among pathologists is coronerary heart attacks.

2008-03-11T21:45:00.000-04:00

Some fundamentalist Islamic parents won't let their daughters leave the house. They keep them under Koran-teen.

2008-03-10T21:46:00.000-04:00

Anime films are universally Japanned by critics.

2008-03-09T21:46:00.000-04:00

Kremlins are a threat to demogwaicy

2008-03-08T21:48:00.002-05:00

Why are midgets unable to legally sue anyone?

Because - there's a stature of limitations!

2008-03-07T21:49:00.000-05:00

Do down and out actors end up on skit row?

2008-03-06T21:50:00.000-05:00

NED: Hear about my friend Stan, who had his penis cut off by his wife?

ED: Really! She must have been sent to prison.

NED: No, I'm afraid she was let off.

ED: Really. Why?

NED: Because - the judge ruled there was only circumcise-Stan-genital evidence!

2008-03-05T21:50:00.000-05:00

All political speechwriters should be sentenced to death by electoral-elocution.

2008-03-04T21:51:00.000-05:00

After the Statue of Liberty was stolen, David Copperfield was put on trial to be judged by his peers. But he was found not guilty, as he was a con juror.

2008-03-03T21:52:00.000-05:00

My son is getting farter and farter behind, so we're hiring a tooter. It should rectumfy the shituation, whenever the teacher decides to colon him.

2008-03-02T21:53:00.000-05:00

Animal rights activists should be thrown in jail. They're all PETA-philes.

2008-03-01T21:54:00.000-05:00

I got mugged in Switzerland, and I'll never go back. Once Berned, twice shy.

2005-03-31T16:43:00.000-05:00

Why did Einstein never stop at a single beer?

Because he was obsessed with re-ale-itivity!

2005-03-30T16:49:00.000-05:00

Which species of fish are the most democratic?

Those who vote in eelections.

2005-03-29T10:22:00.000-05:00

Hear about the play they staged at a cemetery?

It got grave reviews.

2005-03-28T23:52:00.000-05:00

How did the genie mock the overworked busboy?

He said, "I'll grant you three dishes."

2005-03-27T14:10:00.000-05:00

The pair of adventurers decided against camping on top of Mt. Everest, because it was just two in tents!

2005-03-26T21:39:00.000-05:00

If all the world's bivalves became extinct, it would be a clamity.

2005-03-25T15:50:00.000-05:00

Why did the Italian dictator attack his son's babysitter and take her wallet?

Because he wanted to be seen behaving mug-nanny-Mussolini! (magnanimously - needs to be read aloud)