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Pun Gents :: Original Pun of the Day Archives for September 2005 RSS feed:  (Click here for subscription instructions)09/30/05 Barney the Dinosaur was murdered by his best friend Baby Bop. Police are still looking for the purple-traitor. 09/29/05 Before priests are allowed to preach, they have to sign a wafer. 09/28/05 They killed the king of daytime television. It was Regiside. 09/27/05 During work stoppages on the great Egyptian canal, the workers grew Suez-idle. 09/26/05 Do fencers enjoy crossword puzzles? 09/25/05 When bra manufacturers get a coffee, they like it in a cup; that is, if there should be cups, and assuming they can even see cups; then they drink from de cup, but if they drink too fast they'll get the hiccups! 09/24/05 The Irishman was visited by a ghost while making moonshine. "I can't sleep at night," the man said, "it haunts me still." 09/23/05 The former secretary-general of the United Nations always enjoyed a 'double-double' coffee. In fact they called him Sucrose-Sucrose Ghali. 09/22/05 When I was on vacation in Europe I hooked up with a chess player. I came a pawn her in Prague; I made my move, and man it was Czech mate. What a knight! She looked like a queen-cut lass, but turned out quite kingky. The next day I felt great, like I could have done a hundred bishops. That's something I'll never get board of: the thrill of the chess! 09/21/05 What's a chicken's favourite composer? Johann Sebastian Bach Bach Bach! 09/20/05 Is a studly chess player a Castlenova? 09/19/05 Why is it good to get into the winemaking business? Because it's a cellars market. 09/18/05 For her role in kidnapping the 101 spotted dogs, Cruella De Ville was sentenced to the fires of eternal dalmation. 09/17/05 Why does Marmaduke always hump the dog house? You would too if you had a mastiff erection! 09/16/05 Where do hens go to lay eggs? The Chick Republic! 09/15/05 What do you call a tavern in Spain? Bar-saloona! 09/14/05 When the Muslim vacationer landed in New York during a heat wave, he was immediately arrested by Homeland Security. "But, but," the unsuspecting tourist protested, "all I said was 'gee, it's hot!'" 09/13/05 Bush re-elected in 2008? What a load of shrubbish! 09/12/05 Frequent urination is the hallmark symptom of which STD? 09/11/05 A group of transsexuals left the Church in protest, deciding instead to start their own religious group. They bought an old abandoned building and converted it for their services. For their hymns and music they even restored a grand set of pipes.... Needless to say the members of the First Tranny Church were delighted to play with their new sect's organs. 09/10/05 Do masochists enjoy their barbecue? Yes - especially propane. 09/09/05 Puns about liver: they may taste awful, but they're chock full of iron-y. 09/08/05 Why are funerals usually held in the a.m.? Because - they're in mourning. 09/07/05 The municipal government decided to withdraw funds from their lawnbowling leagues, and hold a massive city-wide orgy instead. Needless to say, the associations of elderly lawnbowlers protested this senseless act of de-bocce-ry. 09/06/05 How does one put a cow to sleep? Run it down with a bull dozer. 09/05/05 We all know about his famous bath, but what did Archimedes say his first time before a urinal? 09/04/05 Does an executioner who gets nervous about sending an aristocrat to the gallows suffer from performance hang-society? 09/03/05 Why do sorcerors light so many candles? Because - they're Wickin'! 09/02/05 At lunchtime do divorce lawyers go to the nearest feud court? 09/01/05 A man who thinks he's well-endowed must be ego-testical. For more Puns of the Day, see the rest of the Archives. |
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