When it comes to cheeses, demolition experts don't like cheddar—they prefer de brie.

The anal wand was invented by the ancient Ass Techs.

The biggest critics of the Roman Empire? The censurions.

VP candidate Sarah claims to know that the world was created 6,000 years ago—but most Palin-ontologists would disagree.

Microbes don't have names—they prize their nanomynity

The Inuit don't allow females on the hunt. Sadly, there is still a glass sealing.

Bedouin nomads are known for their rooflessness.

How do astronomers make discoveries? By cosmosis.

The old man who slept with three virgins celebrated his cherry-hat-trick.

People with bad handwriting are actually more intelligent. They tend to be very no legible.

The noisiest body of water is not a rushing rapid, but a plain old creek.

After a hard day's work, Osama bin Laden likes to relax by applying ointments and a soothing bomb.

When they arrested the white-collar criminal he had to be fiscally restrained.

The lawyer who got into cattle breeding put in many build-a-bull hours.

Tightrope walkers have to be well taut.

Midgets can't be more than four feet high. That is a too-tall-ogy.

Until Pythagoras was able to formulate his famous theorem about 90-degree-angle triangles, he considered himself a failed righter.

When reporters asked Pierre Trudeau if his carpet would ever match his drapes, he replied "Just swatch me!"

Before proving his own existence, Rene Descartes proved that Mexican food causes flatulence—with his less famous aphorism, "burrito, air go boom!"

Those who take the Old Testament literally tend to have a Moab mentality.

Early astronauts had it tough: they worked in Apollo-ing conditions.

Name for a Brazilian wax spa: Cleave it to Beaver.

When I worked at the morgue, my zombie friend came in and asked if he eat the brains of the newest corpse. I didn't care, so I said he cadaver.

People aren't happy with music DRM laws against CD ripping and burning. There is a lot of disc content.

The Canadian people will tolerate a dictator. Which is why its parliament is pro-roguing.

I slept with a farm animal. In the morning I felt pretty oxward.

I saw a lowlife cruising for loose women on the beach. I said "What kind of conch you buyin'?" He said, "She's my beach—a shore thing. I don't care what pebble think, if they sea us together. I hope I end up all tide up."

The dyslexic husband was arrested for spells-ill abuse.

Do mechanics wear cargo pants?

In marketing news, Viagra has been targeting its product to universities—especially the sophomore students.